Category: Humor

“I will make this as simple as I possibly can. These are the top ten lies or excuses cheaters give their partners when they know their game is up.”

#10 – Paycheck doesn’t add up

The simple excused given when the hours and pay are not the same….”Its’ must be the new girl at payroll.” “My supervisor must have forgotten to included my hours, he is under a lot of stress.” “I was working on another project, must have not included it on this pay period.”

#9 – Need To Work This Weekend/ Have to go out of town

Yes, the famous “I need to work this weekend and going out of town.” Whatever is your job title or profession. This one really should send you some bells and whistles something is definitely wrong. Double check when in doubt.

#8 – Lending Money

If your significant other is a scrooge and it’s not the giving type. You should question the why and the motives for this change of heart.

#7 – The Long Phone Conversations

I like this one. My ex-husband was full of excuses for this one. “Friends that were in need of moral support.” Ending the conversation with “I love you.”  He would say it’s a guy thing. Added it shows we are “tight”. Really?

 

You may be one of the lucky ones and your partner, spouse, significant other is pretty honest. But when in doubt, do not hesitate to question it.

#6 – Going to the Store

“Yes, I need to go to the store to get a new tool, a new shirt, a new gadget for the home project, etc.” This would honestly work, if the person did not take 4 to 5 hours to come back, did not omit to answer their phones and came home with nothing to show. Come on! Women are the shopping queens of the world. Yes, we may take all day. But we do bring something back. Oh, and we do answer the phone.

#5 – Going to the Car Wash / Or going to get an Oil Change

How many times do you need to change the oil in your car? Really, I mean, honestly, really…really.  The standard for oil changes is every 3,000 to 5,000 miles or every three to four month depending on your driving conditions.

Going to the car wash is not a big thing. If you can afford it, go for it. What is a big thing is the lie about the huge line, the car wash place ran out of water. There was a huge explosion, wonder why it wasn’t in the news. and so on.

#4 – I have already eaten

Your sweetheart never misses a meal at home. You may not be the culinary chef. Your budget may be tight. But your “hubby” always, always,  eat his meals at home with you.

#3 – The ATM Withdrawals

Yes, if your special someone always paid with their debit card and now it’s on the cash system. That should alert you. All the sudden, a necessity to carry cash. The withdrawals amount should also be questioned as well. Remember cash doesn’t leave a paper trail.

 #2 – Stayed at a friend house

Yes, that dreaded party you did not want to attend or didn’t get invited.” Men only. Got carried away and drank too much. You wouldn’t want me to get arrested for DIU. So I stayed at my friend’s house.” Or even better. “We decided to spend the night at a motel just the five of us. So we could split the bill equally. You understand.”

#1 – The sick or dying friend

This one is my favorite. All of the sudden you have been casually introduced to a long time, lost friend of your spouse. The one he has never ever talked about. His best friend, his buddy or pal. Now he is at the hospital. He is dying. He doesn’t have a lot of time. He must go and see him. Spend time with him. “It’s okay, you do not have to go. He is in ICU. You understand.” Yes, I spend $40 on KFC, it was his last dying wish. How can you judge me, like that.”

Like I said this one is my favorite. If you have others to share. Please do not hesitate to include them in your commets. Until next time…….